I swear I should write a book- My life is SO Bizarre!

Well, it all started out with a random contact a few days ago from a profile I have on Match. She's 53, slim, beautiful, and a massage therapist. I thought, ok, why not meet for a coffee/doughnut/whatever. She seemed nice, and we met. I'm starting to believe some websites have built-in beer-goggles to enhance profile pix. I swear. She shows up 20 minutes late (strike 1), looks like she just came from a day of hiking, with ZERO appearance preparation, i.e., no make-up, hair looked greasy (strike 2), and she smelled sweaty (strike 3,4,5,6,etc...)! We grabbed a drink, talked for about an hour, and went our separate ways. She looked OOOOOOLD! Nothing whatsoever like her pic. I think she had upper and lower dentures (I'm running out of available strikes here), and to top it off, she drives a damn SUBARU! (Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines...and Git The Hell Out Of There!) Granted, the car was newer and in good condition, but I can live without tree-hugging spotted owl-lovers. I'm not the kind of guy that's just looking for a piece of ass - I'm looking to meet someone I really want to KNOW and be around! CRAP! 

OH, and after...I get on FB and a friend of mine in Chicago makes a comment about the Hawks sweeping the series, and so I, the dedicated fan that I am, say, yeah, but how are they gonna do against my SUNS??? Her friend gracefully states, "The Hawks are a HOCKEY team. The Suns are Basketball. I doubt they will play each other this season. Next season doesn't look good either." Huh-DUH! (Snicker) :)